Grooming: Or as Your Horse Calls It, “My Spa Day, My Rules.”

Horse care is full of meaningful, noble responsibilities—hoof cleaning, nutrition, pasture management…
But today, we focus on a deeper, more emotional subject:

🧽 Grooming — the art of cleaning a creature who believes they are already perfect.

Let’s be honest. Grooming a horse is not just brushing.
It is communication. It is trust-building.
It is also a full-contact sport that should probably qualify as cardio.

Things You Think Grooming Is:

• Making your horse clean
• Massaging muscles
• Removing mud, dust, and yesterday’s mystery stains

What Your Horse Thinks Grooming Is:

• Personal spa treatment
• Permission to nap standing up
• An opportunity to test whether you truly love them

At first, you start politely with the curry comb.
Three circles in, they make “the face”—
lips wiggling, eyes half-closed, head tilting like a sleepy llama.
You are no longer grooming;
you are an employee at an exclusive equine wellness resort.

And then there’s the sacred Itchy Spot.
You find it accidentally. They freeze.
One ear twitches.
They shift their weight like they’re entering another dimension.
Congratulations: you’ve unlocked Level 1 of Horse Happiness.

But don’t stop.
If you stop, they will wake up, turn their head, and glare at you like
“Human. Why would you stop?! Continue scratching immediately.”

Meanwhile, other areas produce… very different reactions:

• You brush their neck: They melt.
• You brush near the belly: They consider calling HR.
• You touch their flank: They levitate.

And just when you think you’ve mastered the art, they reposition themselves—
not because you missed a spot, but because YOU misunderstood the assignment.

You were cleaning.
They were curating an experience.

Because grooming isn’t really about removing dirt.
It’s about learning your horse’s favorite scratch zones,
gaining their trust, and accepting that
even though they rolled in mud five minutes ago…

…they are royalty, and you are honored to serve.